At some point i believed that i was allowed and in the right to judge those around me. To pick who was my friend, based on; not if they were good people, but if they were cute and if they were funny and today was the day i sat down and reflected on myself. I realized that i’m alone, because i isolated myself and i pushed away good people, because they were not as beautiful on the outside as they were on the inside. 
I sit here, remembering all those who came into my life, the ones i accepted, and how they left so quickly, because of my anger, because of my ignorance and pride. I would give anything to go back to those arguments, the ones where they were only trying to help me, and stop myself from getting defensive. I would give anything to have that best friend back and to have known that i did not deserve any of those who were in my life, so i would have appreciated them more. At least, appreciate them when they were in my life and not now that they are gone. Pride is the worst symptom of anger.

It has been hard leaving,
so many times that i have had to say goodbye,
to those i love,
to those who loved me.

I was never so scared to be alone,
until the moment that i was.
And when i get your calls on the phone,
i remember what i left behind.

The nostalgia grows inside me,
making you despise me.
My heart rips within my chest,
reminding me that you were the best.

If i only could make a deal with God,
to get him to swap our places.
I would be running up that road,
running up that hill.

If i only could.

You do not want to hurt me,
see how deep the bullet lies,
unaware that i am tearing you asunder.
There is thunder is our hearts.

You and me,
we won’t be unhappy.

It is because I’m a little bit dirty.
I have been cheated,
I have been wrong,
and i can not change.

I would give anything for the opportunity to take you for granted.

Just wait a minute,
things kind of fell apart,
do not rush this.

I want to push you around,
I want to drag you down,
and i will.

sinandserotonin:

shock me into breathing
cold on my skin one two three
clear air inhale stinging breath
defribillator to the senses

I stuck my hand in the snow
and very nerve was screaming

I had never seen so much blood
so close to the surface of the skin
without spilling

The more she ignores me,
the more i adore her.

What can i do?
I would do anything for her.

This time, i will be bullet proof.

Don’t let the miles between us
Keep our love apart
Just listen close and you will hear
The beating of my heart

No distance, will ever keep
My heart from loving you
There are no more tears for it to weep
For a love that runs so true

I’ll be there with you one day soon
To love you everyday
And then my heart will sing a tune
And you will hear it say

I’ve finally found my one true love
As true as one can be
And now your all I’m thinking of
Forever stay with me 

I am in love with a character, faceless,
whose words penetrate my heart,
making my mouth speechless,
making food taste tart.

I imagine you.

I can feel your smile,
rest upon my face,
and i can feel your warmth,
the gentleness of your embrace.

Though miles come between us,
and distance keeps us apart,
nothing can ever change,
the love inside my heart.